Discover, Define, Deliver

It's been a long time, folks. Too long.

I come to you with an exceptionally painful, personal truth; Long Curiosity has taken a quiet rest whilst I brought my attention to longstanding errors of thinking, perspective and direction.

In a nutshell; a survival mindset. And whilst this may have been an appropriate response to my early years (which were unfortunately bereft of much safety or security), it left me completely blind to the beautiful, pleasant environment that now surrounds me. A sad state of affairs really, and one that has only stunted my capacity to give love and to fully accept it.

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What to do about it?

Discover, Define, Deliver. Oh how these three words have swirled around in my head. I mean, just look at how they roll off the tongue; these 3 crisp D's are the perfect thrupple, and linguistically delicious!

They have taken many guises, too. First in a property consulting context, then an investment context, and now to the resolution (and this will be the resolution) of my greatest stumbling block; i.e., the psychological context.

You see, I've unwittingly lived my adult life (particularly in a home setting) with the deep, sharp fear that scarred my early childhood and teenage life. I've been left exhausted by an absence of trust, a gnawing uncertainty and frankly, a toxic co-mingling of physical violence and love. This has only brought unnecessary suffering; to myself and to those that I love. I have avoided actions that would bring much joy into our world, preferring instead to exist in a cognitive 'safe mode' and emotional isolation. I have clung oh-so tightly to familiar and unhealthy patterns, partly as a rough and worn comfort blanket - but mostly because the alternative meant getting closer to others. And that fucking terrified me.

So from this day onward, my overarching mission in this life is to teach a bruised subconscious that Everything Is Gonna Be Alright (the Goal). That it is safe to come out (the Process). That it can trust once again (the Result).

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Mind(re)set, 2024 style.

Using good ol' ChatGPT I threw these themes into a pot and gave them an enthusiastic stir. At first I received this solid, but somewhat corporate framework;

The phrase “discover the goal, define the process, deliver the results” offers a balanced and structured approach to achieving success. It captures the idea that each step builds on the previous one and highlights the importance of aligning the process with a clearly defined goal.

Here's how this rephrased approach breaks down:

1. Discover the Goal:

• Clarity and Direction: This step emphasizes the importance of having a clear vision of what you want to achieve. Without a well-defined goal, it's hard to know which process to follow or measure success.
• Purpose: Understanding the goal provides purpose and motivation, guiding all subsequent actions. It ensures that the process is aligned with desired outcomes.
• Examples: In a business context, the goal might be increasing market share or launching a successful product. For a personal goal, it could be improving fitness or mastering a new skill.

2. Define the Process:

• Strategic Planning: Once the goal is clear, you define the specific steps, actions, and habits needed to achieve it. This involves creating a strategy and identifying key actions, resources, and timelines.
• Flexibility: The process should be adaptable to changing circumstances, allowing for continuous improvement and adjustments based on feedback.
• Consistency and Focus: This phase is about execution. The more consistently and efficiently you follow the defined process, the more likely you are to achieve the desired results.
• Examples: If the goal is weight loss, the process could include specific meal plans, workout schedules, and rest routines. In business, defining the process might involve setting up marketing campaigns, customer outreach, or production workflows.

3. Deliver the Results:

• Outcomes-Based: After setting a goal and following a process, the focus shifts to evaluating and delivering results. It’s about measuring the effectiveness of the process and ensuring that the desired outcome is achieved.
• Feedback and Adjustment: Sometimes, results may require reevaluation of the process. If the expected results aren’t delivered, this is a time to analyse what needs adjustment in the process to better align with the goal.
• Satisfaction and Growth: Delivering results not only means achieving the goal but also reflecting on the journey. This reflection helps you grow and refine both your goal-setting and process-defining skills for future endeavours.

In Summary:

• "Discover the Goal" ensures you have clarity and purpose.
• "Define the Process" focuses on the actions and steps required to reach the goal.
• "Deliver the Results" shifts the attention to execution and evaluating the outcomes.

This approach ensures that both the process and the result are aligned, with the goal acting as the guiding principle throughout.

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Interweaving heart, body and mind.

The real magic came however with one simple query; what does this approach mean for feeling safe? And this my friends, is the true ethos of Discover, Define, Deliver;

The approach “Discover the Goal, Define the Process, Deliver the Results” can foster a sense of safety by providing structure, clarity, and control over uncertain situations. Here’s how each step contributes to creating a feeling of safety:

1. Discover the Goal:

• Clarity and Focus: When you clearly understand what you’re aiming for, it reduces uncertainty. Knowing your goal provides direction and purpose, which helps alleviate feelings of being lost or overwhelmed.
• Reduced Anxiety: Without a defined goal, people may feel uncertain or scattered. Discovering a clear goal gives you a roadmap, reducing the anxiety that comes with not knowing where you’re headed.

2. Define the Process:

• Predictability and Control: A well-defined process breaks down big, overwhelming tasks into manageable steps. This predictability creates a sense of control because you know what needs to be done next, which can reduce stress and fear of failure.
• Structure and Guidance: A clear process provides structure, acting as a safety net. If you stick to the process, you’re more likely to feel secure in your progress, even if the final outcome isn’t immediately visible.
• Safety in Planning: Having a plan in place offers reassurance that you’re taking the right actions, which can provide comfort and reduce fear of the unknown.

3. Deliver the Results:

• Confidence and Validation: Successfully delivering results reinforces trust in your abilities and the process itself. As you achieve small successes along the way, you build confidence, which strengthens your sense of safety.
• Learning and Growth: Even if the results aren’t exactly as expected, reflecting on what worked or didn’t work gives you valuable feedback. This process of learning makes future outcomes feel less daunting and more within your control.

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Overall Impact on Feeling Safe:

• Psychological Safety: By setting clear goals and following structured steps, the approach reduces the chaos or unpredictability that can make people feel insecure. It offers a roadmap, creating a sense of psychological safety.
• Emotional Resilience: Following a defined process builds emotional resilience. Even in the face of setbacks, knowing that you have a clear goal and a plan in place makes it easier to recover from failures or challenges without feeling overwhelmed.
• Long-Term Security: Over time, as you deliver results, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to navigate challenges, reinforcing a deeper sense of safety and control over your life.

In summary, this approach supports safety by providing clarity, predictability, and a structured path toward achieving goals, which helps reduce uncertainty and builds confidence.

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So to whoever may read these words, I truly hope that they can bring as much hope and energy as they do to me. And if you are struggling - don't ever stop tryna figure it all out.

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Signing out, Steven.