October 1, 2024

I've unwittingly lived my adult life with the deep, sharp fear that scarred my early childhood and teenage life. I've been left exhausted by an absence of trust, a gnawing uncertainty and frankly, a toxic co-mingling of physical violence and love. This has only brought unnecessary suffering; to myself and to those that I love. I have avoided actions that would bring much joy into our world, preferring instead to exist in a cognitive 'safe mode' and emotional isolation. I have clung oh-so tightly to familiar and unhealthy patterns, partly as a rough and worn comfort blanket - but mostly because the alternative meant getting closer to others. And that fucking terrified me.

January 5, 2023

If my heart swerves in a certain direction, I'll always follow. This is a rather different yearning to craving an ice cream or gasping for a cold pint in the savage Aussie heat. Instead, it feels like a gravitational pull; a natural force that draws from my core towards a particular action, subject or environment. It can ebb and flow. It can be intense or subtle. It can be laced with fear. But once that pull emerges it is impossible to shake off. After all, denial of the heart creates only restlessness; a low hum anxiety that will forever demand attention.

December 31, 2021

We've reached the end of 2021, folks. As we conclude the second (and hopefully last) year of bug-related twists and turns, it feels pretty good to sit down, take a deep breath and enjoy a well earned rest. Traditionally, I'd be knee deep in a strange mix of pork pies, chocolate and beer. But 2021 hits a little differently. Y'see, this is the first time I can look back at a solid 12 months of musing. And on reflection, the back catalogue has captured an evolving state of mind during this rollercoaster of a year.

October 15, 2021

As a node operator, my understanding of Bitcoin has evolved significantly. A theoretical framework has been transformed into lived, practical experience. I monitor the Mempool to check on my Lightning channel status. I engage with other node operators to create liquidity swaps. I scroll through 1ML and Amboss to find other Lightning peers. I collect sats for routing payments. It is a vivid demonstration of my previous notion; that Bitcoin, and by extension its timechain, may just be the the final word on financial freedom.

June 4, 2021

As my writing improves I feel more confident to take on subjects that have always truly interested me. Markets. Finance. Politics. People. I won't pretend to be a technical analyst or policy geek. I'll leave that to the real experts. Instead, I'll be interweaving the big themes. By knowing how the cogs turn we can master the machine.

June 1, 2021

If I am no longer writing to heal, then what the hell am I writing about? The answer has literally just popped into my head, travelled down my arms, exited via my fingers, and arrived onto my keyboard. It seems so obvious now. This is being filmed live, unscripted and in full technicolour, folks. I am documenting my own journey to a much better place.

May 28, 2021

This site creates a cosmic flywheel. It generates an energy and motivation that is now spilling over into other parts of my life. Until very recently I utterly cherished the limited time I had to write. I'd wrap up a post with a sigh, knowing I had to return to a tired, greying corporate world. It felt like my real life extended to only 30% of my waking hours. Now I bring the colour of creativity into all parts of my day.